Clyde's Story XV: Greetings from Ukraine

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Clyde's Story XV: Greetings from Ukraine

Postby BaronVonGott » Fri Feb 14, 2020 7:47 am

Lydia: Good morning, Clyde. You're up early. Oh, hon. You don't look like you slept well at all. Are you ok? You should eat something. Your Ukrainian friend would probably say: "You are puny like capitalist" or something similar. You need your strength.
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Clyde: Don't worry about me, Lydia. I'm... ok. Lydia: I've never seen you like this before. You usually have a cute smile on your face. Did something happen? Clyde: It's nothing, really. I've just got a lot on my mind lately.
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Lydia: I really don't like seeing you like this. It worries me. Why don't I make some coffee and we can talk about it? Problems are easier to deal with if you have a clear head and someone with an ear to listen to your problems. Clyde: I don't know. Maybe some coffee would help. I appreciate it, Lydia.
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Lydia: Oh, wow. You on the other hand are looking much better, Cody. You look healthier and you're getting some color back in your hair. Cody: Thanks, Lydia. I owe it all to not living in fear at the hands of an enormous psychopath.
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Dylan: You also owe it to the quarter ounce of Afghan kush we smoked last night. Dude ate the rest of the Cheetos and like four Moon Pies. Hey, wait a minute. Who's at the door at this hour of the morning? Are we getting raided? We paid the rent, right? Clyde: Yeah, we paid the rent. Stash your smoke, I'll get the door.
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Clyde: Oh. Hello, Thunderella. What brings you out here? I thought we finished training the other day? Is this a test? Do I have to snatch a pebble out of your hand or something? Thunderella: Nyet. No test. White haired boyfriend is missing. I am searching campus for thief so I can pummel. Wondering if you have seen? He is college boy like you.
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Thunderella: Here is photo. This is from happier times. I am missing puny white haired boy. Clyde: Happier times? Not for him I gather. Maybe he um... moved away? Thunderella: Nyet. I smell him. He is close. I recognize cheap cologne and nervous fear.
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Cody: Hey, Clyde. Is someone here? I thought I heard the door- AAAAAAGGGHHH!!! What is SHE doing here? I don't want to go back! I look terrible in a speedo and the glitter makes me itch! No more! You promised no more!!!
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Thunderella: AHA!!! I knew he was somewhere close! You have stolen him? Is this how you repay for training? By stealing? But why you steal boyfriend? You are not of the homosex! No. It not you. Who has stolen? Guitarist? No, he not steal boyfriend. He is not homosex either!
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Thunderella: YOU! Puny pale girl stealing boyfriend! Pale girl pay for stealing! THUNDERELLA PUMMEL!!! Lydia: Huh? ME? Uh-oh.
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Next: There Goes the Neighborhood
"The government, which was designed for the people, has got into the hands of the bosses and their employers, the special interests. An invisible empire has been set up above the forms of democracy." - Woodrow Wilson
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