Clyde's Story XII: Dylan's Guitar

[BaronVonGott]

Lydia: So how much farther is your apartment? Dylan: Not much farther, sis. Lydia: Cody, are you ok to walk? Cody: Yeah, I'm alright. Just weak and tired.

Clyde: It's only a few more blocks. We're over on Anderson street. We have a little bit of time to chat along the way while we walk. Speaking of, that reminds me. Dylan, I see you carry that stupid guitar everywhere like Linus with a blanket, but I've never even seen you tune it. Do you even know how to play that thing?

Dylan: Do I know how to- Stupid guitar? STUPID GUITAR? You ignorant swine! This is most certainly NOT some "stupid guitar"! I'll have you know that this is a Punkduck™ Shredmeister 2500© Special edition! I had to sell weed to half of the campus in order to afford it! OF COURSE I CAN PLAY IT! Do you guys know Municipal Waste? Lydia: Yeah, we listen to them. Cody: It used to be my ringtone. Dylan: Then help me out. (Inhales)

All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: Why can’t I see? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: One more round please? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: All that I want? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: Just two more shots!

Dylan: Third freaking time this week someone tells me I can’t drink. They don’t seem to really get that I want a lot more! They don’t really understand that it’s all part of my big plan, I like to consume until I’m carried out the door!

All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: Conspiracy! All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: You’re all against me! All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: What’s this all for? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: This means WAR!

Dylan: It always seems to end this way. Why’s this place in disarray? Is it cool if I just lay my head at the bar? I guess some folks just can’t relate or understand that I feel great. Just exactly who the hell do you think you are? (Instrumental Break)

Dylan: Don’t you give me that down face. I’m just needing one more taste. I don’t see a problem, but it’s mostly a blur! I’d really like to see you pour more than being such a goddamn bore. I just have a lisp, I swear my voice isn’t slurred!

All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: Why can’t I see? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: One more round please? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: All that I want? All: YOU'RE CUT OFF! Dylan: Just two more shots!

Dylan: So now what do you have to say, smartass? Clyde: I say you normally don't play for free, and you sound better when you're pissed-off. Besides, a song helped us pass the time along the way. Heh heh. Dylan: Oh, you scrawny, cheapskate, motherfu-

Next: Rest and Regroup

[BaronVonGott]

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