Clyde's Story IX: Strong Like Bear

[BaronVonGott]

Lydia: Poor Clyde! I feel so bad for him. This is painful just to watch this! Clyde: Oww! No! Please! No more! Dylan: Man, he's flexible. I never saw a dude's feet touch the back of his head before.

Clyde: The pain! I can't stand the pain! Thunderella: Do not try to crawl away from Thunderella! Get back here, puny man! No! Please! Uncle! UNCLE!!! Thunderella: Who is this "uncle"? I already tell you I am Thunderella!

Lydia: Oh, he looks like he's in so much pain! Why is he carrying Thunderella on his back in a knapsack like that? Dylan: What? He wanted Yoda, I gave him Yoda. You never saw Empire? Lydia: Dylan, that woman's easily 800lbs if she's an ounce. I've seen cars smaller than she is.

Clyde: Please, no! My body's not meant to bend this way! Ow! Thunderella: No pain, no pummel!

Dylan: Man, she just picked his ass up like a bowling ball! Lydia: Do you HAVE to use such foul language? Dylan: Who's using foul language? I meant that literally. Clyde: AAAAH!!! Take your thumb out! No! Take your thumb out!!!

Clyde: I can't take this anymore! I'm not as big and strong as you are! My bones are going to break! I can feel them bending! Thunderella: Is only measly 500 kilogram! Are all American so puny and weak? Lydia: Um... how much does a kilogram weigh? Dylan: It can't be THAT much, the coke bags in the movies are kilograms and they look pretty light. I think Clyde's just being overdramatic.

Thunderella: Is meditation time, little man! Become like gentle lotus or Thunderella pummel! Clyde: Alright, I honestly was NOT expecting this. Also, are you levitating right now? Thunderella: Da. I am levitate. Thunderella harness chi.

Thunderella: Every day sun walks for moon infinity pathway. Clyde: Wait... was- was that a haiku? Thunderella: Da. Is haiku. Thunderella not always pummel. Thunderella have character depth.

Lydia: Oh, they've been at this all day. I-Is he... Dylan: Nah, I just saw his foot twitch. Clyde: Th-Thunderina... please... I-I can't move. Everything hurts. My eyebrows hurt... I didn't even know that was possible.

Thunderella: Excellent! You are feeling burn! Not bad for first day, da? Clyde: F-First day? (Weeping)

Next: Six Weeks Later