Clyde's story III: Visiting Hours

[BaronVonGott]

Ah. You're here to see your friend? He's resting at the end of the hall. You can go in, but you can't disturb the other patients.

???: Is that him? Your roommate? He looks like he's in pain. Why is he dressed up like Jesus? Dylan: He's not dressed like Jesus, moron. He's clearly Buddah.

Dylan: HEY! Wake up, Sleeping Ugly! Ha ha ha! Nurse: SHH! Sir, please respect the other patients! ???: Do you treat ALL your friends this way?

Clyde: Huh? Oh, hey. I didn't expect you to come and visit me after surgery. Dylan: Of course I'm going to visit! I can stare at some cute nurses and maybe swipe some free pills on the way out. Plus, I know you can't smoke, so I brought some brownies with kush in them. Clyde: Thanks, Dylan. I missed you too. Who's your friend you brought with you?

Dylan: Ugh. My annoying sister Lydia wanted to tag along and meet some of my friends. She's supposed to be goth or something. Lydia: Don't mind my brother, he's the load mom should have swallowed. Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Clyde. How are you feeling?

Clyde: Not well. I've been poked, prodded, X-rayed, injected, and photographed naked in the name of Makehuman medical science. I'm sore, I'm cold, and humiliated. I think like a hundred people saw my junk on that "Skinny Male" post. I have a feeling those embarrassing nudes will come back to haunt me someday. Probably if I ever try to get an office job or something. Dylan: So... why are you dressed like Buddah? Clyde: I'm not Buddah, they're bandages. Why would I dress like Buddah?

Lydia: Jeez, that's rough. What post was this again? Dylan: Sis, no. You're NOT looking at nudes of my friends. Lydia: Too late. I already bookmarked it. So why are you getting surgery anyway? Clyde: I was born with a disease that gives male Makehuman characters female breasts. My human was upset by this and sent me to the doctor for corrective sexual reassignment surgery. Dylan: I thought you were cured? Clyde: I thought I was too, but after your little pantsing escapade yesterday, Dr. Elv called me in for a final appointment. I've just had a complete skin replacement and a penis reduction. Dylan: You're probably the only guy I ever met that complained about having too big of a penis. Clyde: Dude, the thing was like 20lbs. I have a small skeletal frame. All that weight was wreaking havoc on my lower back and hips. I felt like a sideshow freak. Lydia: That's true. One of my girlfriends has size double F boobs. She's stuck wearing only granny bras, poor girl.

Dylan: Dude, if you're in pain just take some more meds. What's in this squeezy bag? Cylde: NO! Stop! That's morphine on a slow drip. You're going to make my heart explode or turn me into a junkie! Lydia: Will you leave his equipment alone? I can't take you anywhere, can I?

Dylan: Fine. Excuse me for trying to help my friend feel better. When do you get out of here anyway? Clyde: Dr. Elv said I should be discharged sometime later today or tomorrow. She said it was a fairly simple surgery. She prescribed me some morphine and told the cafeteria staff to let me get ice cream any time of day if I wanted it. Lydia: That's actually pretty nice. So, you don't have breasts anymore? You're a 100% male character now? Clyde: Geez, I hope so. It's kinda been a nightmare between the medical procedures and smartass remarks. Dylan: I didn't make THAT many remarks.

Clyde: Look, if you want to stick around, the nurse is supposed to take off the bandages before I go home. Besides, I don't have bus fare to get home and I kind of need a ride. Dylan: I don't know, man. I was gonna go home and watch the game... Lydia: You're going to leave your friend to walk back to your apartment when he just had surgery? I hope karma kicks your balls right into your throat! Clyde, hon. I'm parked out front. I'll give you a ride home. Clyde: Thanks, Lydia. I really appreciate- Lydia: On one condition... Clyde: Oh, hell. I forgot you were Dylan's sister for a second. What horrible thing do I have to do to get a ride home? Keep in mind that I'm in a lot of pain, and slightly nauseated from all the morphine. Lydia: When the nurse comes back, I want to be allowed to stay in the room. I'm more than a little curious of what's under the Buddah robe. Clyde: Uh...

Next: A brand new man